Life in the (Crappy) Phone Lane

So a couple of months ago I lost my cheap gubmint LOL phone (more like free!) and I went to Safeway to replace it. I should have just waited a few days since the cheap gubmint phone got delivered to my door by Owl Taxi because I had accidentally left it in one of their cabs when they took me home from work.

Even though the phone only cost me $20.00 due to my employee discount at Safeway, it was just about the worst $20.00 I have ever spent, and then of course I had to get a plan for it ($40.00 per month, AT&T phone, ZTE brand).

There are a LONG list of mistakes--all mine, unfortunately, so there is no one else to blame!--relative to ever even buying this phone, and here they are.

1) Going to Safeway to purchase the phone was my first mistake, as they sold only the phone and no airtime cards for it.

2) My second mistake was thinking that 3000 MB of data per month actually meant that I could access the internet using this worthless paperweight of a phone. Oh I can access a limited number of sites, but there is no list as to what sites I can successfully access, so I get good and frustrated trying to determine which site(s) I can actually get to. The only site I know that I shouldn't even try to access is Yahoo home page because Yahoo will kick me clear off the phone altogether so that I land on the power up screen.

3) My third mistake was thinking that the 3000 MB per month of data also meant I could download apps, hardy har har. If you get the idea that I can't download diddly squat, you win the gold star!

4) The fourth mistake was thinking that I could access my email using this phone. I either get "service temporarily unavailable. Please try again." or Gmail refuses to allow me to connect even though my login details are correct. I know that my login details are correct because shortly after I try to login, I receive an email from Google telling me that the login was denied.

5) The fifth mistake was buying a phone with a camera -- yes I can take pictures, whoopty doodle do. I have no way of uploading said photos anywhere because there isn't a removable SD card, there isn't a cord/port to connect the glorified paperweight of a phone to a computer to upload the photos to said computer, and of course I can't upload the photos to Facebook because 1) I can't access Facebook DUH RALPHY and 2) I can't download the Facebook app. All I can do with my photos is send them in text messages to my friends. Whoopty do! LOL. I can do that with my computer and/or my tablet (and I don't have to pay $40.00 per month for the privilege of doing so, since my roommate pays for internet access at home and I can use wifi all over town as well).

7) The seventh mistake I made was discussing the phone with my roommate, who already thinks she is the most intelligent person in the whole damn world especially when it comes to electronics (although she can't even figure out how to use the electric can opener). She wanted access to the phone to 'figure it out for me' since apparently I was "too stupid to figure it out for myself." I don't give her access to anything (phone, computer, tablet, etc) for very good reasons.